Chemoembolization #2

Yesterday I went in for my second my Chemoembolization. I could just say ditto from last time. With the following differences. I didn't do real well with the IVs this time. After the first smaller one in my hand it felt like it had gone in so far that it was poking through the backside of the vein. The nurse said that it was hurting because it wasn't in far enough, that the needle was short and she had shoved it all the way in to the valve and it wouldn't go in any further. Of course I am real wimpy about needles and blood anyway so this kind of talk and thoughts and pain made me start to feel a little light-headed and faint. The fact that I knew all this was coming and was worrying about it ahead of time didn't help. The nurse gave me cool cloths for my forehead and the back of my neck. Then we did the big IV. The difference between a small IV and the big IV is that when she shoves them in she says "little poke" and "big poke". That and the difference between "little pain" and "big pain". After the big IV was all taped down and she had flushed saline through it so that I could taste it or smell it in the back of my mouth. She asked if I still had pain in the little one. I told her that I chose to believe that it was just the tape pulling my hair and not really the needle. She chose to believe that she was going to re-do it. So ripping the hair and the tape off, pulling the needle out and putting a bandage on she told me that she wasn't going to mess around and was going to go "mainline". So she went to the big fat juicy vein at the crook of my elbow. This was better because it did stop hurting after a little while.
The next difference is that it is not called a catheter it's called a Foley, change the name all you want it's still the same painful humiliating experience.
The operating room was the same, cold enough to get me shivering. I noticed the same ceiling tiles as before, I didn't mention them last time. There are two squares just above the operating table that have imprints of leaves on them. All the rest in the room were normal tiles. This seems a deliberate attempt to distract the patient. On a scale of distraction from 1 to 10, I would say that these tiles have an effective rate of .001. There was still the shaving and lots of activity. Dr. Palestrant introduced Dr. Burke who was going to observe and stand in with him today. He asked if that was all right, after telling me that he was going to still do all the work, I said okay. I did not get as many meds this time and was much more conscious through the whole operation but not conscious enough to object. Really the only objectionable part is the "big poke" of entering the femoral artery. That happened before I knew it and was over before I could say "more meds please". I still got to take breaths, hold them, and then breathe.
The recovery was just about the same, laying very still for four hours. I got lunch this time instead of dinner. Which Keri fed to me. Turkey sandwich and fruit. Keri asked for a bowl of soup also to feed me. We were disappointed that there wasn't a menu that we got to choose from like last time. But the food was okay. Right before they let you go home you have to go for a little walk. Which I did last time. But this time the nurse wanted me to go to the bathroom. So on our little walk I did that. What is interesting is that after coming out of the bathroom. The nurse is standing right outside the door and she goes in and flushes the toilet a second time. This is standard procedure for chemo patients. I know the stuff is supposed to be very toxic. I didn't question them but I doubt there was any chemo coming out already because it hasn't started hurting yet. I am expecting that on Friday, if things go like last time.
The only other real difference was a surprise after we got home. Last time before we left the hospital they took off the big bandage that stretched clear across my waist. And then told me to take the pressure bandage off the next day in the shower. This was the one that was very sticky and stretched all the way across my waist also. This time they told us to take the big bandage off after we got home. Keri did that and to our surprise there was no second bandage underneath. Keri put a couple of Band-Aids on. My anxiety level went up and I sat very still the rest of the night and was afraid to go to bed because I didn't have the security of that pressure bandage. What a wimp. Everything is okay and I feel fine as of this writing. I am expecting the symptoms like last time to start 48 hours later. Pain, fever, overall flu type feeling and my favorite, confusion.

Aftereffects

Well I might have spoke too soon when I last said that there was no pain or anything. Sunday night I started to have pain. It increased to the point where I knew I wasn't just imagining it. We called the "On-Call" Doctor. He said that more than half the patients having this procedure will have pain, fever, sickness. He was surprised that Dr. Palestrant hadn't sent me home with a prescription. He called one in for me. I only used 1 and 1/2 of the pills so far. He said the pain was the tumors dying, so it was a good pain.
We went to my Dr appointment on Tuesday. Dr Roberts said I looked about like he thought I would after this procedure, I looked like I felt lousy. He said if we killed the right amount of liver/tumors I would start to feel better in a few days, if we killed too much then I would feel like this for months. He recommended a surgeon for the removal of the mass in my abdomen. We have a consultation visit set up for July 15. They took blood to test to give some indication of how well the first procedure went. I also got my second sandostanin shot.
I worked 1/2 a day on wed. we will see how I do today but I think I am feeling better. The pain that started high on the right side seemed to move down over the days. I imagined it starting at the top of the tumor and eating, dissolving shrivelling the tumor slowly from the top and moving down, sort of like consuming a carrot still in the ground following it right to the tip. I have no idea if that is accurate but that is what I have imagined as the pain has moved downward.
Now I just need to start working on my courage to go back and start over again next wed.